the septenary (diapholom) wrote,
the septenary
diapholom

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mental hamburger

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WASHINGTON (AP) - During a day-long session on Capitol Hill, General David Petraeus fielded questions from Democrat lawmakers ranging from the insipidly puerile to the monumentally retarded as he explained why it would be necessary to retain current troop levels in Iraq.

 

"Why should we put all this effort into Iraq," asked Missouri Democrat Ike Skelton, "when doing so prevents the U.S. from effectively preparing for other conflicts and puts at risk the United States' ability to defeat those most likely to attack?"

Gen. Petraeus told Skelton that Iraqis were ACTUALLY attacking, and were thus deemed a higher priority than any hypothetical likely attackers made up by sniveling liberal defeatists as a cute way of attempting to score political points. "Besides," added the General, "the only way America's ability to defeat an enemy could actually be put at risk would be if God himself whimsically chose to tweak the laws of physics so as to make nuclear fission impossible."

Mugging for the cameras, Senator and leading presidential candidate Barack Obama suggested what he called 'a practical exit strategy'. "When I was in high school - back when they still called me Barry and I looked even more like Urkel than I do now - people used to tape 'kick me' signs on my back. This proved to be a very effective method of getting people to kick me. So why don't we just put 'don't shoot me' signs on the backs of our troops and run away?"

Petraeus pointed out the obvious flaw in Obama's theory, noting that the 'don't ask me stupid questions' sign Petraeus had worn to the hearings had been a 'dismal failure'. However, he DID encourage Obama to wear 'kick me' signs at every opportunity in the future.

"All your strategies are interesting," said Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.), "but they all seem to result in an American victory. We want America to lose. Do you have any strategies that will make America lose?"

Gen. Petraeus assured the Senator from Massachusetts that, although he didn't currently have such a strategy, he would definitely be thinking about how America could lose the war when he voted on November 4th. 

Hopeheads = Typical liberal people   (Barackakaka kaka - Disciples of our Lord and Savior)

The BORG*

*Barak Obama's Rabid Groupies - "Kill Whitey!"

*Also, I hear mortgage companies are then giving the families HIV which the mortgage companies made in their labs. It kinda seems that making people default on loans and spending money on diseases to use on your customers is a poor business model, but I guess that's why we need Obama to fix things. 
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get ready for the black Hillaryya'll
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   *Maybe the mortgage companies should include an IQ test as part of the loan application

"and he will bail everyone out from the debt they have accrued through ignorance, stupidity, or just the audacity to hope that they could pay a mortgage that was 9/10 their income." -Obama Biblia [:':Wright version translated.:;] 
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Paro (<a specie of a consensus-driven European)
Tags: obamarama ding dongs
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