Ah, the Central Valley of California. We’re originally from there, and we feel qualified to say that it’s flat, hot and largely populated by idiots. Exhibit A: A teenage girl spent all of Saturday drinking, then borrowed a Dodge truck with a 3 year-old girl inside and went on a smash-up rampage. (As far as we know she didn’t smash any Rampages.) However, she did crash into people and cars, as well as a condominium, severing a gas line. The Stockton Po-Po say that she faces charges of driving under the influence, seven counts of hit and run, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and child endangerment. Say hello to juvie, baby!